


not an origin story

by eiirene



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Gen, mentions of canon-typical violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 06:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2219289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eiirene/pseuds/eiirene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike is 27 years, 3 months, 11 days, 5 hours, and 23 minutes old the moment everything goes to shit and he feels a muzzle of a gun pressed to the back of his head. It’s 2 hours, 6 minutes, and 17 seconds until the launch of Project Insight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not an origin story

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [tin soldiers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087) by [idrilka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilka/pseuds/idrilka). 



> i reblogged a [gifset](http://cptsmallass.tumblr.com/post/95212544120/can-we-please-take-a-moment-to-talk-about-this) with the shield tech who said no to rumlow, and then proceeded to throw my feelings at [idrilka](http://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilka/pseuds/idrilka) on chat until she said "you could always write a fic, jsyk". so this happened. and then she did the cheerleading and hand-holding, so, thank you. she also let me borrow some setting elements from her ["tin soldiers"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1758087) universe.
> 
> huge thanks to Idril and [Laria](http://lariagwyn.tumblr.com/) for the helpful comments and beta reading.

Mike is 27 years, 3 months, 11 days, 5 hours, and 23 minutes old the moment everything goes to shit and he feels a muzzle of a gun pressed to the back of his head. It’s 2 hours, 6 minutes, and 17 seconds until the launch of Project Insight.

It’s kind of funny that this is what he focuses on, instead of thinking about the whole mess with Captain America defecting but not really, or the fact that he’s been unknowingly working for a Nazi organization and his mother would be so disappointed if she knew, or that he’s going to be dead in a few seconds. No, his mind gets stuck on the ticking counter on the screen in front of him and calculates his exact age.

And then somebody else says something and he can’t even hear the words because of the ringing in his ears, but the gun is suddenly gone and he hears a loud bang and he can’t _move_ until his chair gets kicked out from under him and he lands on the floor, hard.

It hurts, he thinks dazedly. He always thought being dead wasn’t supposed to hurt. Then his other senses kick in and he scrambles to get under the desk, and _he’s still alive_. He’s still alive.

•

Numbers were always something Mike was good at. There’s always some logic behind them, you just need to know the rules and then everything makes sense. It’s like piecing together a jigsaw puzzle; in the beginning it’s always a mess, but then you can sort the pieces by color and shape, and it all starts slowly coming together until you fit in that last piece and it’s perfect. Mike’s grandma had this huge puzzle set at her home, over 3,000 pieces. It took up half the room when they finished working on it and Mike got to put in the final fragment.

So he graduated with a double major in Computer Science and Engineering Physics and then, before he even had time to think about applying for a job at, like, SpaceX or something, he got a call from an Agent Susannah Crawford. After three separate interviews, a psych eval and a background check so thorough that he wouldn’t be surprised if they knew about that time he was seven and told grandma he lost a quarter in change after buying milk when actually he bought chewing gum with it, he received approximately a hundred different forms to sign and got a tour of the S.H.I.E.L.D. DC Headquarters.

His family thinks he’s an accountant. It’s something Aunt Leah never fails to mention each time they have a big family gathering, because Mikey, you used to be such a bright boy, when are you finally going to find a real job? Trevor, her son, is a third-year associate at a prestigious law firm, thank you for asking.

He can deal with it. He hesitated for a long time before accepting the job at S.H.I.E.L.D., because law enforcement wasn’t really a career path he’d considered for himself, let alone in the form of a shady government organization, but in the end he’s happy with the choice. His mom says she’s proud of him no matter what he does and his baby sister thinks he hung the moon, so he can grit his teeth and suffer through the rest of his family thinking he’s a disappointment.

He does good work. He’s responsible for the world security (at least partially). He works with Captain Freaking America (take that, Trevor). Well, in the same building at least.

Mike met him in the elevator, two months after Captain Rogers had moved to DC from New York. He was going down to the archives and Captain America was going to the garage, and 36 floors is a long ride together, so Mike said hello, stuck his hand out and introduced himself, Michael Novitsky, Tech Specialist, Level 4, proper title and all. Captain America didn’t laugh at him for thinking he was actually interested in knowing who Mike was, but instead shook his hand with a smile and said, “Steve Rogers. It’s nice to meet you, Specialist Novitsky.” He even looked like he was going to make small talk, but then the door opened on Mike’s floor and more people wanted to get in, so that was it. Still, it was pretty cool.

He kind of regretted that he wasn’t able to ask for something cool for his sister, like an autograph or maybe even a photo, but he suspected that Captain Rogers must have been be pretty tired of having to do that practically every time he showed up somewhere in public. He didn’t deserve to have people accosting him at work, too.

Besides, it would’ve been difficult to explain how exactly he met Captain America at his boring accounting job.

•

In the next two years, Mike gets his security clearance raised to Level 6, gets a raise and a promotion to an accounting manager, his dad fucks off to Florida and hopefully will stay there for good, aliens invade London, his sister suffers through her first unrequited crush on Sarah Lee from the fifth grade, he learns about Project Insight and the Captain America exhibit opens at the Smithsonian.

“So, are you gonna take me today?” Sophie asks, bouncing a little on her toes. They’re learning about Captain America in class and she’s already gone through all his old comics. She hasn’t stopped talking about the exhibit all week.

“I’ll try to, okay?” Mike says, bending down to tie his shoes. Their mom had a night shift at the hospital, so he still needs to drop Sophie off at school and they’re already running slightly late. “I might have to stay later at work today, but we’ll definitely go this week. You got your backpack?”

“Yep,” Sophie says, turning in a circle to show him.

“Lunch?” he asks just to make sure.

“Uhuh. A sandwich and an apple and a juice box,” Sophie recites.

He reaches out to ruffle her hair and she makes a face but lets him. He was almost 18 when she was born and their dad was already largely absent from their life, so Mike’s sort of taken on that role since day one. It’s hard to think about her growing up. He supposes she’s always going to be his baby sister, probably even after she decides to have kids of her own, which will happen hopefully never. For now, he enjoys her childhood years while he still can, even though she informs him almost every day that she’s almost-ten now, and apparently double digits in age mean very serious business.

They take the metro together and he walks her to school from the station, promising that mom will be there to pick her up and he’ll see her after work.

“And we’ll go to the Smithsonian, right?” she asks again with barely contained excitement and he can’t help his laugh.

“Yeah, if there’s enough time.” Frankly, he’s not sure there will be – Project Insight is launching in three days and there’s a lot of work to be done with coordinating everything and making sure it runs smoothly, so they’ve all been putting in extra hours. His accounting firm is involved in a big merger and it’s taking up a lot of his free time but don’t worry, mom, I’ll get paid for overtime and at least it means I’m really needed there.

Mike tries not to dwell too much on the exact role of Project Insight, because it’s—fucking scary, if he were to be honest with himself. He doesn’t know all the specifics, his clearance level isn’t high enough for that – he’s heard rumors that even Captain Rogers isn’t cleared for all the details, and Captain Rogers is Level 8 – but he does know some and it doesn’t make sleeping at night any easier. He takes comfort in the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. are the _good_ guys, and if the events of New York taught him anything, it’s to have trust in the organization.

The blue line is running late when he makes the rest of the way to work, so he’s late, of course, and the agent in charge gives him a stink eye when he finally makes it to his station. His car is in the shop and technically he could request a driver, but he didn’t want to risk explaining to his family why he’s getting picked up for work in a stereotypically non-descript, not at all belonging to a government agency car.

They offered him a chance to come clean two years ago, but he chose not to. After New York, S.H.I.E.L.D. is hardly a secret organization anymore, but most of their operations still are, so his family would still remain largely in the dark about his job. And, much as he doesn’t like to think about it, he might not be a field agent, but it doesn’t mean he’s not at risk at all, and he can’t stomach the thought about something happening to Sophie or his mom because of him. He’s gotten so used to maintaining his cover over the years that it just seemed simpler to go with it in the end.

He’s going over his task list when the news about Director Fury’s death breaks out.

And then the STRIKE team is sent to apprehend Captain America, Captain America makes an escape and Senator Pierce declares him a traitor.

Mike focuses on his orders, tracks the security camera feeds, keeps the facial recognition software running and keeps his attention on the screen in front of him, because if he didn’t, he’d be forced to contemplate the fact that Captain America betrayed S.H.I.E.L.D. and this isn’t something he particularly wants to do right now.

It’s late and he’s exhausted by the time someone comes to relieve him, but at least it also means he’s too tired to think about anything on the way home. All he wants to do is to collapse on the bed and sleep until this whole clusterfuck gets resolved somehow.

There’s a missed call and three unanswered messages from his mom when he finally checks his phone. He calls her back without reading the texts and she picks up after the first ring.

“Mike. Are you coming home now?”

“Yeah, I’m on my way,” he says tiredly.

There’s a rustling sound and then something like running water on the other end of the line. “We were watching the news. They’re saying Captain America is a wanted fugitive.”

He winces. “I know. We had the TV on at the office.”

His mom is silent for a long while before she speaks again. “You’re being careful, right?”

“Of course, mom. Hey, I’m about to lose the signal. I’ll be home soon.”

“Alright. Pick up some tea on the way, please. Love you,” she says before hanging up.

When he finally makes it home, she takes one look at him before rushing him upstairs to the bathroom. He stands under the shower for a long time, one hand braced on the wall and the water beating down on his back, so hot that it’s almost scalding.

He scarfs down dinner and drags himself to his room, chucks his pants off and doesn’t even bother with changing his shirt, just crawls into the bed under the covers. He’s almost asleep when there’s a knock on his door.

“Mike?” Sophie says, standing in the doorway. The light from the hallway illuminates her from behind so he can’t see her face, but he knows she’s biting her lip.

He rolls on his side to make space for her on the bed. “Hey, c’mere.”

She all but throws herself at him and he brings his arms around her small body, hugging her close. “What’s up, muffin?”

Her eyelashes are damp with tears, but she’s not crying when she quietly asks, “Is Captain America really a bad man?”

Mike’s throat is so dry that it hurts when he swallows. He doesn’t know. Captain America is not supposed to be the enemy, he’s—he’s _Captain America_ , for fuck’s sake, and if you can’t have faith in him, then what is left?

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She squirms against his side and looks up at him. “Yeah, but what do you _think_?”

“I think—sometimes good people do bad things, too, you know? And maybe they think that they’re good, but they’re not, so they have to be punished for it.”

Sophie contemplates his answer for a moment. “Okay. So it’s like taking someone’s pencil to give it to somebody else who doesn’t have one? Because you’re still stealin’, right?”

He snorts with laughter, because this day went from bad to fucked up beyond belief, but the notion of Captain America stealing pencils from school kids is still hilarious. “Yeah, just like that.”

“Okay.” Sophie nods, apparently satisfied with the answer. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

She probably thinks she’s being sneaky. “Good try, kiddo,” he says, poking her in the side. “Off to your bed with you.”

“You’re no fun,” she whines, but slides out of his bed nonetheless.

He’s out like a light the moment the door closes after her.

•

**The Daily Bugle** @thedailybugle • 1d  
CAPTAIN AMERICA A TRAITOR? Read more: http://bit.ly/5fFHVDS

Retweeted by NBCWashington  
 **First4Traffic** @First4Traffic • 27m  
Car accident – Theodore Roosevelt Memorial Bridge. @news4today @nbcwashington pic.twitter.com/dupKHOeFre

**NBCWashington** @nbcwashington • 18m  
#BREAKING Massive car pileup on Theodore Roosevelt Memorial Bridge: http://bit.ly/1rDMWAR Updates from @First4Traffic

**The Daily Bugle** @thedailybugle • 16m  
#BREAKING NEWS #CaptainAmerica directly involved in a shooting on Roosevelt Bridge #DCAttack

**CNN Breaking News** @cnnbrk • 10m  
More than 40 wounded in the Roosevelt Bridge shooting. http://cnn.it/1lz5hNa

**CNN Breaking News** @cnnbrk • 10m  
Captain America  & Black Widow reportedly involved in the shooting. http://cnn.it/1lz5hNa

**CNN Breaking News** @cnnbrk • 9m  
No comment on Captain America’s involvement from S.H.I.E.L.D. The order to shoot on sight stands. http://cnn.it/1lz5hNa

**NBCWashington** @nbcwashington • 2m  
#BREAKING Captain America apprehended by a S.H.I.E.L.D. strike team, arrested pending charges http://bit.ly/3dfGTRS

**The Daily Bugle** @thedailybugle • just now  
THE FALL OF THE HERO: CAPTAIN AMERICA UNDER ARREST. Read more: http://bit.ly/f5THJMB

•

Mike can’t go home.

Captain America is under arrest, Project Insight has been reactivated and is to proceed on schedule, and Mike can’t go home because it’s all hands on deck and they need him here.

He calls his mom from the bathroom when he gets a short break.

“Mike, are you safe?” is the first thing she asks.

He nods, even though she can’t see it. “Yeah, I am. Listen, mom, I’m not going to make it home today, they blocked the roads and they’re saying it’s better if we just stay—”

“Please, don’t,” she interrupts. Her voice breaks a little. “Don’t—not now, please. Mikey, I know there are things you cannot tell me, but just, please, be honest with me now – are you really safe, wherever you are now?”

His face in the mirror looks terrible, ashen. He has to brace himself on the sink and take a few deep breaths before he can speak again. “Yes. Yes, I am. Mom—”

“I gave birth to you 27 years ago, Mike, I can tell when my son is hiding things from me,” she says dryly. “I don’t need to know the details and I’m not asking about them. I just want to know if you’re going to come back home when this all ends.”

He swallows. “I am. I promise, Mom.”

•

All S.H.I.E.L.D. employees need to pass a self-defense course, even if they’re not going to be active field agents. Mike knows the basics of hand to hand and he can point and shoot at a target, but these are not his strengths and he’s well aware of the fact that in a dire situation he’d be more of a liability than an asset.

He’s okay with it. S.H.I.E.L.D. has always put the emphasis on teamwork, and Mike, with his computer skills, fits neatly into the puzzle. He has a job to do and he’s _good_ at it, he’s good at listening to his superiors and following orders, always has been.

It’s hard to believe that Captain America, of all people, could be a traitor to his country, but Captain America is also a fallen hero who came back from the dead and this shouldn’t be possible either but happened anyway.

Mike doesn’t really react when they receive the news that Rogers escaped from custody. It’s just another piece of information his brain receives and files away. He just feels numb, and he supposes it will all catch up to him later, inevitably causing him to crash, but right now the reprieve from the emotional roller coaster is great.

When the day’s over and the Insight helicarriers are safely in the air, he’s going to go home, maybe buy a cake on the way back – chocolate, with cherries, from the bakery on the corner. Sophie loves it and they always have it for her birthday. It would be a nice surprise.

There’s a loud, jarring noise on the comm line and Mike winces, pulling his headphones off. He hopes it’s just a temporary disruption and not a serious malfunction, because they’re just a couple hours away from commencing the launch sequence and working communications are essential.

Then Captain America makes a speech and Mike’s worldview takes a huge hit for the second time in 48 hours.

Rumlow’s footsteps are deafening in the sudden quiet of the control room.

“Preempt the launch sequence, send those ships up now,” he says. His presence is intimidating behind Mike’s back and Mike knows that even without his gun Rumlow would be able to incapacitate him in a moment.

The countdown on the big screen says 02:06:29.

He made a lot of promises he hasn’t kept. Sophie’s waiting for him to take her to see the Smithsonian exhibition. He’s supposed to pick his car up from the service station today.

He’s supposed to come home.

“No,” he says, too quiet but still audible in the room. “No,” he repeats, louder this time, and waits for the shot to come. Will he even be able to hear it, or will the bullet embed itself in his brain before the sound can ring out? “Captain’s orders.”

02:06:17

The metal of the gun feels cold against his heated skin.

The shot never comes.

•

02:06:16

•

* * *

[six months later]

Mike’s not really sure how he ended up here.

After that whole mess with S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA, he needed a new job and he wanted a change. A proposition from Apple seemed right up his alley – good pay, a significantly lower stress level compared to his previous occupation, it was practically perfect.

He really didn’t mean to say yes when he got a call from Maria Hill on behalf of the Stark Industries, but Agent—Ms. Hill has always been really good at persuading people. So he said yes.

He still doesn’t quite understand how that led up to him providing tech support for the Avengers Initiative, but it’s… not a bad job, considering.

Mike’s not really cut out to be a hero, but now he works surrounded by them, and he doesn’t mind that. His job isn’t classified anymore, so that feels good, too.

Captain America makes small talk with him every morning in the elevator.

(Sophie’s expression when he brings her to work one day and they bump into Captain Rogers on their way in – worth every single second of his life.)

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to, come say hi on [tumblr](http://cptsmallass.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
